When I reflect on the happiest moments in my life, people are always part of the story.
Foremost close, intimate relationships. I think about small, sweet moments spent cuddled up next to my husband, basking in the sense of closeness. I also think about glasses of wine shared with friends or co-workers after a long week, where we end up laughing ourselves to tears.

Relationships have always been the very, even most important things in my life. This is why it fascinates me that why - and particularly romantic relationships - it’s so difficult for many people to find and stay in a happy one…!

Positive psychology and relationships
It turns out, my interest is not unfounded. People and organizations that study well-being unanimously conclude that relationships are a core factor - if not the most important factor - to living a happy life.

This is why I wanted to draw the very clear connection between positive psychology and well-being, because the research is voluminous and conclusive on the subject.

So let’s dive in.
From the man who’s credited with in-depth research the field of positive psychology, relationships are considered the “single most reliable” of the five elements to well-being. Psychologist Martin Seligman identifies all five in his book on Positive Psychology, Flourish.

The researched-backed elements of well-being include Positive Emotion, Engagement, Meaning, Accomplishments, and Relationships (PERMA). In Seligman’s own words: Other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up.

To add additional evidence to this idea, the Harvard Study of Adult Development - found that:

“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives . . .[Close relationships] protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”

So not only are relationships key to your present-day happiness, they’re instrumental in helping you live a long, healthy life.

Just because relationships aren’t your “thing” doesn’t mean they can’t be a priority
If it’s not obvious already, relationships were something I cared about before I knew about their link to positive psychology.
In fact, it's likely a huge part of what attracted me to the field.

I want to address and even might want to persuade anyone with this mindset that relationships are worth investing in and getting right. Even if they're not perfect, their healthy presence in your life will buffer so much of life's negativity.

But having this said, you can’t rely on other people to do the heavy lifting for you.

It’s important to seek personal satisfaction in other areas of your life, so that you’re bringing joy to your relationships, rather than weighing them down with the heaviness of your unhappiness.

On a last note I would like to refer to research from one of Berkeley’s positive psychology fellows, Brett Ford, who suggests:

This kind of approach to pursuing happiness may work better than striving for continuous pleasure, success, and power.